992. amazon has *everything*!

thanks sylke

991. mother! do you smell toast?

thanks sharon
related:

i do not know the source of this, please tell me

990. 'sup

via pictures of owls

989. actually his sous chef did but he's taking the credit

thanks caroline

988. for the love of god if you value your life

987. on my mark it zero, engage

thanks zach

986. at first i didn't see it, then, i screamed

thanks zach

985. and the fans all said, "boo, bees!"

via deadspin

984. is you a pipe?

thanks bartolotta

983. go away, food

via picture of owls

982. what a delightful place

h/t to bored panda

981. no but i got a ladder in case you get stuck in the bath

thanks zach
;)

980. childish beepuncher

via citytv

979. yup, been there

via jokideo

978. mood

via joy reactor (thanks ylana)

977. useless

976. hallelujah

thanks caroline

975. i cant

thanks buck

974. a candidate i can get behind

thanks jay

973. burrrrrn

found on facebook (thanks pirtle)

972. this relationship is suffocating me

thanks peter

971. you're a real prince charming

via i can haz cheezburger

970. U-S-A! U-S-A!

via i fucking love science

969. they have all the fun in indiana

thanks mary jo

968. i didn't call her evil, i did not-

thanks matt

967. quite a meowthful

found on facebook (thanks jay)

966. i can hardly bear to post this but

thanks no thanks caroline

965. "bollocks"

964. e.t. phonesex home

found on facebook (thanks jay)

963. fucking rude