850. watch your ankles

via club 93.7 (thanks andrea)

849. it's as big as an elephant's trunk

#gopdildo

848. ahhh get off me

marc mol's photo for the comedy wildlife photography awards via the irish times

847. daaaaaaaamn

found on facebook

846. those dance moves -- not extinct

thanks laura g

845. what are you doing WHAT ARE YOU DOING

via whatshouldwecallme

844. i want to order a tabby porter

via buzzfeed and thanks laura

843. now i'll just put my paw back in and heeeyyyyyyy wait a minute

via pr's tumblrdome

842. and yet doesn't use apostrophes

via buzzfeed

841. bantha pug

via giphy and chubbs the pug

840. shaddap

via arbroath

839. slipper-y dicks

via the pussydoll palace

838. immortan donald

via my mad existence

837. SLAAAYERRRRRR!

via saint vitus bar

836. there's a card for every occasion

killien huynh's i make postcards for your enemies from bored panda

835. jesus, macy's.

photo taken by mike schmelzer in newport

834. totally different dude that's totally not a pedophile

via deathandtaxes

833. me last night

via loops loops loops by way of pr's tumblrdome

832. try to hide your hitler 'stache, give double nazi salutes

mental floss's 15 exercises you should try, according to old-timey cigarette packs

831. giant clown nose terrorizes toledo

gif from alltvchannel2's video via neatorama

830. wow, very stuck, so hedge

via bored panda

829. squeeze my lemons til the juice runs down my extra row of teeth

photo taken by amy mills, who says "i'll pass, thanks"

828. like a lion on the sarengeti

via arbroath
update: this is the winner of the comedy wildlife photography award, taken by julian rad

827. philly pholks not phans of phalse cheesesteak eaters

via talking points memo and jenna johnson's twitter feed (thanks mike)

825. think again you grabby motherfucker

found on facebook (thanks paul)

825. have you tried drinking pineapple juice

via reddit by way of bored panda

824. that's gonna be cold

via 22 words

823. bartleby the scrivner? anybody? not a big melville crowd here huh.

ah, eh, he's not an easy read.
found on facebook (thanks ernesto)

822. steve rogers sammich

via imgur and h/t to bored panda

821. arise, you adorable little mutant thing you

via juan betancourt (thanks jay)

820. for me? part 2

via arbroath

819. well thank god

photo taken by caroline harrison in queens

818. have an ass-shaking fourth of july

via reaction gifs (thanks jeff k)

817. new yorkers tell it like it is

via new york shitty

816. not even going to try to title this post

via imgur (thanks dan)

815. i mustache you what's up with your eyeballs

abvh's gif via everlasting blort

814. nope 4

found on facebook

813. exsqueeze me?

via what should we call me

812. tough love

found on facebook (thanks james)

811. part of me feels a little bad posting this but.

from a friend's facebook feed

810. pop

imgur's this is what that looked like in the 1950's

809. what do you call a blind dinosaur? a doyouthinkhesaurus.

what do you call a blind dinosaur's dog? a doyouthinkhesaurus rex.
via pr's tumblrdome

808. everyone hates nickleback

via deathandtaxes

807. owl hat

via imgur

806. here we go again motherflipper

via i fucking love heavy metal

805. obvious plant strikes again

via sad and useless

804. jets draft pick: derp edition

via ny post

803. that's why

buzzfeed's if karen walker quotes were motivational posters
thank you zeus